My wife denies it. A year and a half has passed and she calls me one day, we broke up and I need your help with the kids. It is the hardest thing I ever been through. Hi my name is Matt. I am humiliated, devastated and heartbroken he would replace me so quickly. Hate is a strong word but I think I do hate het for all the evil things she has done to me and our kids. Terrific article, and do agree as my special area is helping couples reignite that passion, trust, desire. Instead she has communicated with anothr man things hav developed. it was no joke. They will keep you occupied to not think about how bad you feel, at least some of the time. Last September she said we were over due to the fact of me cheating with her friend. I am confused. Sometimes youve got to just let it go. Hello, I have a question about coping with my wife leaving me for someone else. I am going through it myself. Because sinners are selfish! I dont think she will ever know how much I loved her and how loyal I was to her. I am dealing with the reality that Ill see my son a lot less. Believe, shell want you back. If you have low self-esteem, your man might lose respect for you and feel like he doesnt honor you anymore. It will all Fall into Place . My honey told me I am not happy, I am idiot & I am leaving you I have known that she was his 1st true love but its hard to believe that he threw away everything we had for her. Ive never heard or read this suggested, but according to my own experience and analysis of it, I think it may have merit. I thought we had a happy life but apparently I did not have a happy wife.she never told me anything, never discussed it or mentioned it. I told her actions speak louder than words and ur refusing to talk but abandoning me to leave the state. Im going through the same although my kids are 9 And 11 years old he told me 2 days after Xmas Im not happy here anymore. It double complicates the matter when youre a Christian, because the Bible says, Whom God has put together, let man not separate. betrayal and lies are very tough, especially if you never get to address things, and never have real closure. I dont even care how she treats me anymore, but its tearing our son up and that is really hard to see, knowing theres little I can do for him. Their best advice was for me to just get pregnant., My husband left me after going into a depression. If they're doing so out of a passion for what they do, for instance, their work can increase their life satisfactioneven improving their satisfaction at home. Youre not the one on Psych meds, youll be fine. I told my wife straight away (within 2 hours) out of guilt and respect. I will follow this for now. When I confronted him he lied and said he had just came home late assuming that I was sleeping. then we went for higher education, there she just started acting weird and started ignoring me also i have seen loosing my priority as the way she was behaving. Spending time with them is the best way to get through this because they see the pain youre in and they will understand why youre so sad. Never was there a conversation of custody or living nearby to split parenting. To the spouse who wants out . Although she wasnt having a physical affair, she was having an emotional one. And at the time he would be like. I have just seen her going into the guys house that she had the affair with.. My husbanda and u got married at a very young age, I was 20 and he was 23. Child Mind Institute psychologist Dr. Alexandra Hamlet says, "It's important to set ground rules in the beginning [of your relationship] to set a tone," or boundaries that ensure the relationship moves at a pace you're both comfortable with. If I had had this information back when I started courting my spouse specifically pertaining to her, I would NEVER have committed to anything. Good luckto us bothwe will be OK though. Well, back story. The taint of desperation lingers at my heals and I fight to be encouraging to two son who have lied to and thrown away as I have like trash. You dont want to have to recover from both. Yup its called life. We did renovations at her cottage from laying new floors to painting and installing a new wood stove. I broke down and hit the ultimate low and the very next day she used it and stripped me of custody and I didnt get to see my kids for 7 months. I said no to moving out because a) I sole own the house and sole was paying the mortgage and B) I thought her behaviour was erratic and odd for the months leading up to her moving out plus I was getting fed up of rolling over to her whims. 5 years ago I started to discover and figure out that my wife was a substance abuser,drug addict with prescription meds, narssasis, pathological liar. Its a long story between my ex and I, but basically he just left me one day because I wouldnt give him 20 dollars for gas, because I didnt have it, and I wouldnt let him use my car because I only had enough gas to get back and forth to work and didnt have any more money to put in my tank because I paid the bills, I dont know where his money went. Yes, God wants you to be happy, but not at the expense of the greater good that HE knows needs to happen. The more you attempt to this the farther you push your spouse toward what the evil wanted to begin with, loneliness, despair, and hurt. Read more inspiring stories of single moms: At 7 months pregnant, I found messages online to a dozen women, telling them he hated me, wished I was dead. She has of course admitted adultery yet refuses to accept this in the papers and has filled against me. You know in your heart this is totally unacceptable behavior. "It's impossible to please you.". Im thinking of not paying the bills next month and moving out while shes away. Apostle Paul said we humans face the test of times because we are like animals. As I said I honestly never intended this and I also didnt realize she was hurt as she tends to respond emotionally to most things And having them around will be the best medicine you can get. Like Ive said before and still need to remind myself: you dont want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you. I will not let him see our daughter until he takes a drug test and std test. How you feel right now will not be the same as how you feel a month from now. About a month ago, I separated from him because I did not feel like he actually loved me. The papers are signed. Cant sleep without the sleeping pills or wine. If this is the end of our relationship and it certainly feels that way. I feel like i will never get over it and I know there is more heartache to come. Or he /she is crazy!!! I was up all night waiting for her and when she got home at 8 am, it really hit the fan. I asked if there was someone else she said of course but right now I dont know what to believe please help thanks Derek, My situation isnt all that different man. By the time I left, I hardly knew who I was anymore. We have seen these in all of the breakup movies.. Since he can just drop us like taking out the garbage. I cry all the time. The reasons for affairs are very gray and multilayered. I dont know how you move 25 miles away from your son, my daughter left for college this year. Use your resources when someone is trying to mess with you . Its so hard because I love him and I am trying my best to keep my family together. I was left an emotional and physical wreck by this man who now controls our young adult children in the same manner and through manipulation, self pity and denouncing me to them, he tries to make them dislike and disrespect me. He has moved out and in the space of a month he had completely cut me from his life. What about when you discover hes gay..by discovering multiple affairs he has had? Dont fall for it ! Coping with the end of a relationship can be difficult on many levels. Im saying this to let you know that you are not the only one. I understand this. Every day I feel like Im about to die inside. So that l will never ever go back to him . Living in forgiveness will free you from some of the hurt in your divorce and allow you to move forward more healthily. He said he was unhappy for 10 years. I dont know if I should trust him. The effects of both of those events, coupled to an unloved / loving home run by a dictator and supported by my mothers passiveness, my sexuality was warped and I became very adept at being alone. Only God can fix this mess. I threatened to call the police but never did out of fear of having anything to do with that kind of stuff and the kids. So Im on my own, hence the online searching for advice. I ate a chocolate mousse cake not that long ago! 2. So you have a spouse with mental illness, divorce is on the cards, and even though you know it's the right thing you cannot stop yourself from feeling crippled with guilt. SHARE this story on Facebook with your friends and family. I sleep and eat baflt. it will come . Im so pissed now she plays it off again like its all me and the kids beg me to stay (someones gotta give them attention.. Thats to far below her 2hr bath time every night. !! My husband of 25 years is leaving me. If your husband is gay, there will be no getting that love back. Hello! This may have nothing to do with you so giving him some space and trying to be supportive for now might help. You can meet new people, try new things, and pursue your dreams . Looking for some advise,please. From my perspective your husband saying that he is not happy could mean several things: 1. Above all. She really screwed you. I love him so much and wish things were different, but Ill be strong for my boys they need me much more then my husband ever did. then he comes back home and is a great husband for another four months then next thing u know he leaves again . I am completely devastated, I love her so much, and we have two children together. This podcast explores all things love and relationships. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. I am glad she is back on her meds finally I guess I am just hurting knowing she feels fine while Im a mess. I will keep this no contact for as long as humanly possible. For me, this is still a very difficult situation to get through. Whats the message? My ex husband did the same thing I tried everything and nothing. This new girlfriend has a world of abuse to deal with in the future. He often jokes about leaving his wife. Let go of the self-blame. I miss how much if a gentleman he was and how extremely romantic he can be. Once my divorce was finalized, I met someone else myself, however my x then began to use this new person of mine to hide her guilt. Are you real? Well she had this doctor at a private office that she worked with get him to start prescribing mess for her. Well she was mixing high doses of Vicodin and Soma pills . I havent overcome anything yet. She didnt deserve any of this.. My ex left me the day after Christmas. She then admitted to a 7 month emotional affair with this guy at work. I said that is fine, i am done with always fighting with you. She gets outraged and calls me every name in the book and thats that. I am devastated as only a few month ago we celebrated valentines day He got me a ipad3 took me to a nice hotel bed and bathroom full of rose paddles. I dont know how you rip it apart and then walk away like nothings wrong. And protect yourself because if shes not looking out for you you need to. Mt friends thought I was anorexic, and my mental health took a big decline. How to cope: Work on taking responsibility for your part, forgiving yourself for what you could have done differently, and letting go of how you think it should have been. I begged begged prayed prayed prayed and became closer to god than I ever had been in my life.. my wife slept in a coma state almost ever day for over a year. Wasnt throwing out enough, I lost everything!!! When I came back to get rental I found hidden inside a mint bottle Vicodin and soma pills that were in two sets of boxes. We wanted to provide links to some resources that may be relevant to you here. This story was written by Niamh Tracey of Dublin, Ireland. Really sounds like he is the one that will be missing out, just find yourself again. Try and stay strong, I know how it feels. She says she wants to live by herself with her 3 kids cause they are better off without me. When I got back a gut feeling told me to check our trash in the trash can . She has been seeing someone for depression, but therapist seemed geared more towards providing affirmation to affluent clients than identifying and treating the more important clinical issues. You will meet someone who treats you right and then you will forget all about him. You might feel like youre on an island all by yourself, but thats not true. I feel like Im slowly dying I tried and gave him everything I had even if it wasnt alot. I borrowed the money for the lawyer from somebody else.he paid all the bills. Kelly, My wife of 20 years asked me to move out 33 days ago we have 3 kids together two boys 6 and 19 and a 13 year old girl. Ive not coped at all Was in hospital for 5 days and am trying my best to eat and drink which feels pointless. I lost my wife, two stepdaughters and someone I thought was a friend.I was good to her and never cheated. Know your legal rights ! My ex-husband used me for everything I had and then just left. God has the peace you seek. She txts him daily and it dosent bother her that Im right there. He did, yet he got everything he wanted. It sounds like hes pretty unhappy, and possibly with himself. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but it doesnt work that way. She tells me she could make it work with him, just to be back in her girls lives and back in her siblings lives in some way. He said he wanted his life back (by that he means his happy care free go out every weekend life. She spent a few nights at his place and on new years eve she drove him home and spent the night. I said that i am going to the car and he followed me and said if you leave i am calling an attorney on Monday and i am so sick and tired of you. Feeling a little bette . And this time apart, knowing she is with her husband, re-connecting with him after all that we have done in such a short time is killing me. He only saw our daughter twice a month.. Then after our son he asks me to come back I go back and hes still trctong her the night I moved back in so the very next morning with my 1 week old baby and my toddler I pack up and move out again. I have someone that they work with that gives me info and all they do is talk about me and say Im a terrible mother and person.. Hi, I married my wife when i was 22 yo Two blows in one go. He has never served me, and has filed for two extensions for the filing. Still working. Been together 10 years. They then make efforts to reel you in again ! 8. someone whos been through abuse or bullying, What to do when your husband or wife abandons you, speaking with a mental health professional, acsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1002/cncr.24577, proquest.com/openview/4bd906a16b2a72068a059378348fb0c1/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=41641, How to Let Go of Past Hurts: 8 Ways to Move On, Podcast: Resiliency, Passion, and Trauma Recovery, Podcast: Working Moms and Self-Care with Brooke Burke, Podcast: The Latest Research to Live Happily Ever After, Podcast: Is Media Reporting on Mental Illness Fair? I looked everywhere and i sat outside of the area for a long time. Any youths on how to cope welcome. Slept in the living room the last 3 nights because he fell asleep out there. It will get better. Allow grief expression. Moffa, now 76, had been married 52 years, and . So feel free to cry and scream as much as you want because its perfectly normal to hurt. Always preoccupied doing something other than anything that would require real effort. It took me about 6 months before I tried to get help and went to therapy. If youre looking for a counselor that practices a specific type of therapy, or who deals with specific concerns, you can make an advanced search by clicking here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html. So cold, so heartless and has absolutely zero consideration for me. Its just interesting that two years went by and he never once mentioned anything about being unhappy since the former conversation but felt justified to leave because he had a conversation two years prior to him leaving. After she moved out I found out she was in a realationship with another man my wife had many affairs I tried to work things out but they just didnt stop this was the 2nd on in less than 2 yes not sure how to feel right now It is so hard I cant seem to grasp how she can move on so quickly. Most days everything fine till either side of the visit. Ive let go, Ive got my life back and cant wait to hear you and others on this site can feel the same way . We made each other laugh every day, we goofed off an had fun. After all Ive been through I have not given up and please do not either. Its not fair of you to hold a grudge and try to get your husband back when hes more than likely done with you. Thank you for this article your right about anything, Im so depressed right now because my husband of 4 years leaves me for the reason that he doesnt love me at all. You can get a new cat or dog, or you can even get a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Im devastated. Thanks, If she ever contacts you again say this, never talk to me again. Or did you make a massive mistake that ended a wonderful relationship for good? Most likely you fell out of love because you decided to stop loving your partner or you decided that you loved someone or something else even more. Yes I was pissed beyond belief. I forgave him as this exact thing had happened in my first marriage (all that he knew already ) he had convinced me that my ex was a looser and that I should never doubt or mistrust HIM when all the time he was covering up that he had no feelings or empathy for anyone else but himself. He says he loves me very much but is not in love with me I am devastated feel like Im dying inside. My ex boyfriend just moved out left me carelessly with all the bill.He was always a depressed person and I was always there for him then I started to become depressed. . to do the same. I will pray for you and just take it one day at a time and get up everyday with a plan He ask me to hire someone to put his things in storage. My friend has not moved forward with a separation agreement, or any movement with her husband in that way. So, when you believe your husband is having a midlife crisis, most wives find it very hard to do nothing. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. But its almost sociopathic, I think, to be so accommodating to the same person that you were in a self- described toxic relationship with and a partner that you couldnt ever communicate with and now be completely calm and methodical with. Very timely